As humans, we constantly make judgments about our environment, helping us discern what resonates and what feels out of sync. These judgments label, categorize, and make sense of our world. When judgment is neutral, it is curious and innocent—like noticing something you like or dislike. Neutral judgment is like tasting a dish and deciding whether you like it; it’s evaluative without personal critique. Yet, there’s a tipping point where judgment shifts out of rhythm and becomes toxic. Toxic judgment, on the other hand, is akin to declaring the dish—or the chef—unworthy.
This shift in judgment diminishes either us or someone else. Critical self-judgment presses us down, leaving us feeling inadequate and not enough. When directed outward, it may offer a fleeting boost to our confidence, but this comes at someone else’s expense. True uplift doesn’t come from criticism; it arises from compassion and love.
Most of us engage in judgment without realizing it. The key is to notice—with curiosity, not criticism—when this shift occurs. Pause and tune into how judgment feels in your body. If you judge yourself, respond with compassion. If you judge others, ask yourself: What unmet need is driving this?
We must first slow down and listen. Have you ever deeply listened to the energy of judgment, approaching it with curiosity instead of avoidance? It exists everywhere, within and around us. Directed at us, it stings. Directed outward, it disconnects us. By attuning to these patterns, we can realign with acceptance and connection.
“No Judgment January” is an opportunity to notice when neutral judgment shifts into criticism and bias—what Brene Brown calls “power over.” When you catch these moments, pause. Reflect on what this judgment says about your inner needs. Practice offering love, compassion, and equality in your judgments instead of critique. Let’s create harmony in our relationships, ensuring our judgments uplift rather than diminish.
Here are three crucial steps to begin:
1) Notice when neutral judgment shifts into a critical tone. Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now, and why?
2) Pause and breathe. Observe the feeling without reacting.
3) Respond with kindness. Judgment doesn’t need to be met with more judgment. Choose compassion instead.
Together, let’s listen to the rhythm of judgment and shift from dissonance to harmony. How will you begin noticing this rhythm in your daily life?
Stay tuned for more daily insights from Dr. Lisa each day this January!!! Subscribe to my Substack to get daily support for the No Judgment January Challenge!