Carrying The Load With Grace, Kindness, and Strength
By Lisa Templeton, Ph.D.
The classic quote by Lena Horne, “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s how you carry it” is a great line and very helpful for shifting our perspective. Yet, I can’t help but wonder, what is the best way to carry a load, so it doesn’t break one down? In my reflections around this, I have come up with four pointers to keep in mind when it feels like life is weighing you down:
1) Perspective is everything. Our perspective is created by how we think about the load. Thoughts such as, “this is unbearable” or “I can’t handle this” or “I won’t be able to get through this” only serve to increase our anxiety and the weight of what we are carrying. Consider thoughts such as, “this load is heavy and I know I can get through this” or “I can handle this – I’m handling this right now” or “You got this, everything is temporary.” These thoughts offer a bit of truth, lightness, and inner support to give us more strength to carry a heavy load with grace and resilience.
2) Believe in yourself! Remember the game, ‘Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board? When we collectively believed that the person was light, they became lighter, light enough to lift with our pinky fingers! When we believe that the load is lighter, it can become lighter. Believing in ourselves comes from being a good friend to yourself. Be kind and gentle. When you stop to speak to yourself gently, light in tone, and loving, you are being a better friend to yourself. This offers a strength to help us believe we have what it takes to move through. In this mindset, there is always lightness.
3) Remember the temporary nature of everything. What feels like a very heavy load right now will possibly only be a memory in a few days or months. All that is weighing on you right now is a potential form of teaching and growth. The struggle in life can be just what we need to move forward in our own evolution. Always keep in mind that everything is temporary.
4) Stay in the present moment. Take one step at a time and don’t think too much about the future steps you will be taking. With a ‘one step at a time attitude’, we stay conscious of what is right here right now instead of engaging in a future time thinking we will carry this load forever. We have no idea what the load will feel like even 10 steps from now. Take it easy, keep breathing, and stay kind with yourself. This offers the strength needed to carry a heavy load with grace and support.