By Lisa Templeton, Ph.D.
This pandemic has transformed our lives in various ways. Consequently, we all crave a sense of freedom, although our perceptions of freedom may vary. Merriam-Webster’s definition of freedom is the quality or state of being free relating to 1) The absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action; and 2) Liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another.
This definition does not include our internal world and the ways we move into conflict with ourselves at times. These inner relations impact our perception, and subsequently, our mental health. Let’s work to create more internal freedom and address parts of ourselves that continue to limit our power.
At present, our moving freely about in the world may be limited, but our internal freedom is always readily available to us. We have a choice to perceive our world with more truth and harmony. William Faulkner wrote, “We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.” In order to perceive our world from a broadened, more truthful perspective, we need to practice listening for times when we feel coerced or constrained from within ourselves.
Instead of judging what we notice, we take notice of what we find in the core beliefs about ourselves and our freedoms. A bridge of compassion is available to offer a connection between the two belief systems if we hold them and weigh them with conscious awareness. This will guide us to stop going down the old paths of conditioned patterns.
The liberty to sit comfortably within ourselves is the ultimate freedom. When we can make mistakes, feel emotional, uncomfortable, or unproductive without repercussions or judgment, we are practicing freedom. When we can truly talk to ourselves about what we need and meet those needs with kindness and understanding, we are practicing freedom. True autonomy lies within ourselves, a heart openness that draws on the strength of vulnerability, compassion, and unconditional love – from the inside out.
Have you ever experienced a relationship in your life when you feel fully accepted and loved without any expectations or judgments? Perhaps it is a person, or maybe a pet, as they radiate such unconditional love. Notice the feeling you have when you consider being fully accepted. You can do no wrong, the only expectation is to just do your best at all times – with an understanding that your best will continue to change moment-to-moment. When we perceive ourselves in this way, we are practicing freedom.
We can lock ourselves up in unconscious chains if we don’t stop and notice how it is we are handling and relating to ourselves. To have internal freedom means that you have a friend within who will always have your back; hence, you have the freedom to unapologetically be who you are, both internally and externally.
Keep practicing these steps! The first step is to notice how you relate with yourself without judgment. Second, set an intention to continue observing whatever comes up with recognition of the context and bigger picture to elicit compassion and understanding. Third, keep an eye on patterns that might be associated with negative feelings. Work on weeding the garden of your mind daily, staying mindful and vigilant, and practice listening with an objective mindset. This gets easier the more you practice! Fourth, start building a bridge within yourself. Consider seeds of compassion, love, and truth that you may sow to freely blossom and fully love yourself.