Healing From the Inside Out

By Lisa Templeton, Ph.D.

Our thoughts have a major impact on ourselves and the world around us. What is occurring inside of ourselves is connected to what is happening outside of ourselves. Yet, it is so easy to focus on the outside without as much awareness for what we are experiencing on the inside.

Much scientific research now recognizes that our thoughts are electromagnetic waves that give off frequencies. Thoughts are energy waves. Most of the time, we will notice when someone we love is down on themselves or negative. We can feel it, right? When others are negative, it can affect us. It’s hard to be around that vibration. It’s not easy to be aware of our own choices in thought and understand how our own negativity may affect others, as well as ourselves.

What happens when someone you are close with is negative? How do you cope with it? Does it bring you closer to that person, or farther away? It takes a lot of compassion and love to stay close to someone expressing negative energy. With this understanding, we must work on cultivating positivity, peace and love in our minds. Being kind and compassionate to ourselves radiates an incredibly strong vibration that has a powerful impact on not only ourselves, but the world as a whole.

Sure we are all going to have negative thoughts at times – it’s not easy to regulate our moods and states of mind, not to mention coping with all the difficulties life throws at us. These negative moments provide us practice for identifying the vibration and choosing to be kind to ourselves. When we make a mistake, can we give ourselves love? If we get negative and feel totally irritated and shut off, can we change our mind and bring love into our hearts? Can we change the frequencies of our energy to help ourselves and others around us?

Many experts on the brain have found that we can do just that with practice. But how? We must remember to make attempts at balancing our negative, uncomfortable experiences with more positive ones. First of all, start by exploring your inner world. Ask yourself – how am I speaking to myself in my head? How often am I offering myself a kind, uplifting statement? What really is my relationship with myself? Is there conflict within? What is the nature of the conflict? Why might I give the benefit of the doubt to someone else, but not to myself? What is so different about me that I don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt?

We are all equal – each of us deserving of love, understanding, and compassion. We all need to be seen, heard, and acknowledged. The love and consideration you might give others for a mistake is love; yet, to yourself, you offer scolding and criticism? What kind of vibration does that resonate in your mind and body, as well as in the world?

If you find that you are speaking unkindly to yourself, don’t judge yourself for it. Noticing what exists within is the first step to change it. Once you have identified it, consider what you might say to someone you love in the same situation. Say that same thing to yourself, even if it feels awkward or strange. A positive vibration will feel odd if you haven’t been living in that frequency. Allow yourself time and practice to acclimate to inner kindness. If you notice thoughts countering that kindness, confront them with love and be clear that this way of talking is not healthy and you want it to change. This pattern won’t change overnight, but it will start to show an impact on you and your world.

Remember that we cannot change something that we are not aware of. Work on becoming aware of the thoughts that are unkind to yourself. Notice them without judgment and remind yourself that you are working to shift this dynamic. If you fall back into your old conditioning with negative thoughts about yourself, catch it and reframe it based on complete facts and truth. If you are not sure of something positive to say to yourself, don’t stress about it. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. You can simply say – “I’m not sure what to say right now, and I’m working on it.”

Consider some positive aspects of yourself. What do you like about you? Make a list and keep it nearby so you can consult it when you are struggling with saying something nice and finding the good in yourself. Healing is a process from the inside out.

Be well and stay mindful!

6 Things to Release in 2021

This year has been tough for many of us. It has changed our perception of everything around us, and also within us. I have found it easier this year to look more deeply into myself and assess that which is working and that which is not. It is important to consider aspects of ourselves that do not serve us and that we may be ready to release. It is also normal to find fear or resistance in letting go.

We might notice if something doesn’t serve us, but we don’t know how to let it go or perhaps fear that if we let it go, we won’t feel as protected. That is okay – take it one step at a time. Here are 6 aspects within which we can safely let go and still be protected. Given the crazy year of 2020, these things have been loosened and are now primed for release:

1) Self-doubt – when we question ourselves and doubt our actions or words, we undermine our own confidence. One of the reasons self-doubt exists is because we have been conditioned to second-guess ourselves and look outside of ourselves for truth. Another reason this exists is because someone in your life continued to doubt you, projecting their own self-doubt onto you. If you are doubting yourself, try this exercise. Look deeper and bring in clarity in your mind regarding the competent ways you have addressed your life. Sit with a memory in which you felt confident and clear with your own truth.

2) Self-Sabotage – I find that doubt and low worth of self can often lead to sabotaging of self. Perhaps something is going well and then before you know it, you have not chosen wisely and have messed up a good thing. One of the biggest catalysts to this issue is discomfort with “receiving” and not feeling as though one deserves it. You are worthy of all good things. If life is going well, do you believe you deserve it? Of course you do – everyone does! Imagine one of your best days and receive how wonderful it was without doubting or sabotaging the good. Allow the good to come and live inside your body. As you practice, you will get more and more comfortable.

3) Negative, critical self-talk – This one in particular requires a lot of awareness of thoughts. Those of you who have taken my Actively Letting It Be course recognize that we cannot let go of something if we are not aware that we have it. Once we identify that we are talking negatively to ourselves, we can then work to let it go. But first, we must be compassionate. It is so much easier to listen to our thoughts when we are not judging them. Once that is out of the way, we can listen to our thoughts with more curiosity and intention to transform them. If you catch a negative thought in your mind, great – you are aware of it! What do you want to say instead? Pluck the weed and plant the seed!

4) People-pleasing – We will never be able to please everyone, so we might as well please ourselves. There is a fine line between caring for others and curing them. Often when we are people-pleasing, we are trying to manage others’ feelings and doing our best not to make them feel bad. Since when are emotions so bad to experience? Can’t we all manage our emotions pretty well overall? It’s important to remember that if we are pleasing someone else at the cost of ourselves, we are chipping away at our spirit and not honoring the one true person who has the potential to always be there for you.

5) Fear of failure/success – It seems that the fear of either failure or success is inherently driven by the same issue – insecurity. The fear of failure holds us back from shining out who we are, or sometimes from even trying in the first place. The fear of success is there to remind us that if we do try and we succeed, we might not deserve it or be unable to handle the changes involved with it. Both revolve around insecurity and fear of being capable. Imagine a time when you have failed and how that continued to motivate you to try. Conversely, imagine a time when you succeeded and how you grew as a person and potentially inspired another to take a step forward.

6) Perfectionism – Not one of us is perfect but we often have a perception of others’ perfection. Social media outlets and text messaging offer brief moments into others’ lives, but we aren’t usually offered the ugly, more difficult moments. We all have these moments suggesting that whatever we are viewing as perfect in others’ lives is skewed. There is no perfect, there is only our best with the knowledge that our best changes from each moment to the next.